Filling Your cup

This week, I want to discuss a book I have been reading for a class I am taking. The book is

called “radical compassion” by Tara Brach. If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest getting

yourself a copy immediately.

To be transparent, I have only made it through the first two chapters but those chapters so far,

have really hit home for me. It has forced me to sit with my thoughts of where I am allowing my

life to go, and it has so far been a very uncomfortable eye-opening experience.

In the first chapter, she discusses how many of us fall into a “trance.” A trance where we as

humans just go through the motions of life without any real regard to our own feelings and

thoughts. My interpretation essentially, “is your cup half full or half empty, and what are you

going to do about it?” In the first chapter, she also discusses an approach to help sift through

our thoughts and emotions and she calls this “RAIN.” The process in steps; R- Recognize,

recognize the thoughts you’re thinking at that moment and the emotions that flow through

you. A-allow, allowing yourself to feel those true emotions which can range anywhere from

happiness about something or anger and sadness. I-investigate, investigate why you are feeling

this way, what’s causing all these feelings and thoughts within you. And lastly, N-Nurture,

consider some steps you want to create for yourself to take care of yourself, inside and out.

A story for you all from my own experiences as of recently, as a health and wellness coach

trying to grow your business, it can be extremely intimidating especially starting out brand new

in this world. I studied my behind off in university to get my degree for this, yet a few months

ago, I felt so intimidated by the fact that my dreams would never come into fruition, I found a

second job. On top of still going to school and being a parent. Talk about setting myself up for

failure. At the beginning, I enjoyed the job, it was something new, I was around some great

people. Now almost three months into it, I regret ever accepting this job.

It has taken so much out of me, the stress, the fact that my daughter is now at daycare more

than home, my classes have become stressful due to lack of time and to top it all off, I am

virtually not doing anything for my Health and wellness coaching. I thought filling my cup

financially would fix my problems until I started reading “radical compassion.” Come to find out

from myself, I have only forced myself into a trance. I have no patience for anything. I have lost

my love for all of my hobbies and particularly having the energy to parent. But what I do know,

by using RAIN, I am finding myself and the happiness I want and need out of life.

At the end of the day, we all make mistakes, but many of those mistakes can avoided or fixed if

we listen to ourselves and what we are really telling ourselves. Creating good habits for yourself

and using the RAIN technique which in the future I hope to do a workshop for the community,

can improve your life. Just by reading what I have read so far, I feel the power within me

growing, to say no to the things that don’t fill my cup genuinely, to not be afraid to make the

better choice for myself despite my fear of upsetting others.

As a widow and only in my 30’s, I know I have so much life to live, and I won’t allow myself to

waste it on the things that don’t really bring joy. I won’t force myself to be miserable. My late

husband, he fell into the war with his demons because he wouldn’t truly sit with what was

going on within him and doing something to change it. I will forever miss him, but I know; he

would be so disappointed in me if I keep up not filling my cup with good things. I promised

myself and him four years ago that I would forever fight for him and I’m not willing to break

that promise.

To summarize, don’t be afraid to listen to your voice and don’t be afraid to speak up for

yourself. As I know this can be so difficult to navigate, trust me, it’s taken me four years to stop

and listen to myself and stop listening to everyone else around about what I should be doing

with my life. If you feel like you are alone, I can tell each and every one of you reading this that

you are not. I’m here, & have been there. Find the courage within yourself to seek that change you

deeply desire.