The mindful parent

Many children are faced with adverse childhood experiences (ACE’s) within external stimuli, leading to self-regulation difficulties. The COVID-19 pandemic has contributed to a rise in stress, financial difficulties, stress and depression, and trouble understanding behaviors in children, along with their caregivers. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, there is a need for necessary changes in our style of parenting to reduce stress levels and support social-emotional regulation skills in children. In the past recent years, more parents realize how beneficial incorporating a mindful approach to their parenting practice has on their children's overall ability to navigate life’s ups and downs, understand and work through emotions, strengthen their parent-child attachment, and manage stress.

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 As noted by Kwon et al. (2019), adults’ psychological distress and negative moods influence the quality of emotional support children have, which is reflected in children’s poor behavior and overall difficulties with self-regulation. Therefore, it is up to the parent to lead by example by being mindful of how they choose to react. Mindfulness is defined as the capacity for awareness, focused attention, nonreactivity, and nonjudgmental acceptance of the current moment (Plante & Burns, 2018). Becoming aware of how you handle stressful situations as a parent, is then reflected onto the child and shapes how they eventually react to stress.

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Mindful parenting is similar to gentle parenting and is significant for children who are learning self-regulation.  Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn’s seminal book (1997), entitled Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, proposed that a parental consciousness with full attention, emotional awareness, and acceptance supports many facets of positive parenting. Mindful parenting is focused on appreciation and compassion for our children, a more intentional and nonreactive approach to discipline, and a healthy parent–child attachment. Farb et al. (2012) also found that mindful practices can discontinue dysregulation by interrupting perseveration on negative beliefs and behaviors, increasing tolerance of difficult emotions, and promoting a sense of self-compassion and understanding of empathy. Mindful parenting creates a foundation for less reactivity during challenging parenting moments and replaces reactions that are more thoughtful and empathic.

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There are many different ways you can begin incorporating mindful parenting into your family's everyday lifestyle. The most important aspect of mindful parenting is being present with your children. Our busy schedules often take away from being fully present with our children. Finding a good balance based on the dynamic of your family is essential to spending quality time together. Even 30 minutes of undivided attention can make a difference in your family's life. Another option, which goes hand in hand with being present, is unplugging from all technology. Spending time outside together, reading books, or making dinner together are wondering alternatives. Having a dedicated space for meditating and making time for a short meditation is another wonderful way for children to associate their strong feelings with an area to relax and work through them. Allowing children to have choices is another wonderful option. Children are told “no” and are expected to follow rules during so much of their childhood. Allowing choices fosters independence and self-regulation skills. Lastly, practicing affirmations, resilience, and gratitude are key factors in mindful parenting. There are many other ways to incorporate mindful parenting into your routine; the options I have listed are easy to begin and happen to be some of my personal favorites.

Farb, N. A., Anderson, A. K., & Segal, Z. V. (2012). The mindful brain and emotion regulation in mood disorders. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 57(2), 70–77. https://doi.org/10.1177/0706743712 05700203

Kabat-Zinn, M., & Kabat-Zinn, J. (1997). Everyday blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting. New York: Hyperion

Kwon, K. A., Jeon, S., & Jeon, L. (2019). The role of teachers’ depressive symptoms in classroom quality and children’s developmental outcomes in early head start programs. Learning and Individual Differences. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.lindif.2019.06.002

Plante, T. G., & Burns, B. M. (2018). Mindfulness-Based Parenting Programs: Significance for Young Children Experiencing Adversity and Trauma. In Healing with spiritual practices: Proven techniques for disorders from addictions and anxiety to cancer and chronic pain (pp. 135–136). essay, Praeger.